NFL’s Jerk of the Week: T.J. Houshmandzadeh and the NFL Media Outlets

Welcome to the first segment of the NFL’s Jerk of the Week.  Today we examine a really crybaby who needs to have his diaper changed:

T.J. Houshmandzadeh

Last Sunday, the Bungles and their “explosive” offense were stoned cold by the Ravens defense.  They were out-gained 358 yards to 154 yards on offense. Ocho Cuatro (hey there’s another one you didn’t think of Pete, Ocho Cinco and Ocho Cuatro) put on a lack luster performance of 3 receptions for a grand total of 44 yards. During a pass play, Houshmandzadeh was being covered like white on rice. The pass was intended for Housmenzada, but fell incomplete.  This little crybaby then proceeds to rip his helmet off and throws a huge temper tantrum like a 6 year old girl who didn’t get the latest Hanna Montana doll for not getting a call for pass interference.  This came right after Chris McAlister got called for two pass interference calls which were bogus (apparently you can be penalized for playing aggressive defense, who knew?).  Are you kidding me?

Listen we are all adults here. I work with kids and they are some of the most confrontational people when I make a call during a kickball game. T.J. you’re a PROFESSIONAL football player.  Let’s start acting like one, what do ya say, champ? Also, since Chad is Ocho Cinco now, can you be T.J. Ocho Cuatro. I mean, I had to look your name up 15 times to learn how to spell it, and I think I still got it wrong.

Our next jerk of the week is the vast majority of the national sports media outlets that ran highlights of the action in week one of the NFL.  Praises were being sung for Brett Favre for his impressive debut as a Jet (yawn, story is tooooo played out), the impressive debut of Matt Ryan (which was against the Lions, where my 3 year old cousin could throw 3 touchdowns with a Vortex Nerf Football against the Lions secondary), and for Aaron Rodgers and his debut as the Packers quarterback (maaadd props for that one kid, glad some one from California represented good as an NFL QB, KYLE!). Then came time for the Ravens/Bengals highlights. I sat somewhat attentive, because I only hear half of what Stuart Scott says anyway because I don’t speak Street Slang, on my bed waiting to hear the joyous praise of Joe Flacco and the Ravens defense. However, there was no mention of how impressive the running game was or how dominate the defense was. Oh no, it was all about the Bengals and how bad they were and how maybe this was just an “off” day for them.

Let me explain something to you pencil pushers in plain English. Let’s be fair to the Bengals, they have a great offense.  An offense that is that stacked with talent like Ocho Cinco, Houshmandzadeh, and Carson Palmer at quarterback doesn’t have “off” days. Let’s give credit where credit is due, the Ravens dominated that game against the Bengals. You could see that if you head was up your rear-end the whole time while watching the game listening to Kornheiser babble on and on displaying his “football knowledge”. 

Seriously how did this clown get on ESPN Monday Night Football doing COLOR COMMENTARY?!?!

Look at him! He’s thinking “oh God please don’t ask me another question, I’ve got it I’ll just babble incoherently for the next half an hour until people get so disgusted they change the channel…BRILLIANT!”

Let’s get on the ball ESPN and NBC, leave whatever gripes you have about Baltimore having a football team and “stealing” the Browns from Cleveland, and give the Ravens some mad props.

Tomorrow, you’ll get to read my picks this weeks along with my Game of Week that you can’t miss this weekend and my Suckfest of the Week that makes you want to turn on the WGN Afternoon movie:

I hear it’s Tarzan and the Lost City with Casper Van Dein, how intriguing!.

Be sure to tell your friends about the website! Spread the word!

Quick note, my prediction for the World Series….Cubs vs. Rays with the Cubbies winning in 7 at Wrigley Field. I had Mets vs. Tigers at the beginning of the season, but they decided to let me down like the Orioles for 10 years.

Until next time….GO RAVENS!